Free To Be Me? Or Giving In, To Unseen Pressures?
I overheard an interesting (but not really surprising) exchange between two ladies, sitting together at the coffee hut, on the beach...
"So you bought the bikini! It's lovely!" said lady #1
"Thank you! We are on holiday and no one knows me, so I figured I'd wear it!" said lady #2
To be perfectly honest, this exchange did not surprise me as my bestie has the same philosophy: Only wear a bikini on holiday because no one knows her!
I never thought she was alone in this approach, but to hear her very words being spoken by another woman really brought home to me how this way of thinking is widespread.
And it made me a bit sad.
We, women, so often make decisions about our lives and our appearance based on "what we think other people will think", don't we?
Isn't it the truth, though, that most people really do not care about your appearance?
People care a lot more about how you make them feel, how you act, how you are as a person!
And should you really care about the opinion of those who are so superficial that they cannot see beyond appearances?
Is their opinion worth the anguish and pain it can cause you?
Who has put them in charge of your most basic decisions?
Let's face it: Empowering bitchiness is a poor use of time!
Beyond the issue of "to wear a bikini or not", I meet a lot of women who worry about having a photo shoot because they worry about the judgment of others, of whether they will appear to be vain, whether they are too big, too old, not pretty enough, or whether someone will say "who does she think she is?!".
The list of negative self-talk can be rather long!
I realise this final piece of advice may sound naïve, but it has been my life-mantra and I absolutely recommend you try it, because I know it makes a huge difference to self-confidence:
Next time you are worrying about whether you should wear something you love, or dare to do something you fear doing due to judgemental people, stop yourself and instead take the devil-may-care approach.
You will be glad that you did!